SPOTLIGHT: Independence Fatigue by Emily Carrington #LGBTQ #contemporaryromance @CarringtonEmily

Being a Dom isn’t working for Peter Campbell. He really craves the release of being a submissive, but he’s confused about the sub’s role. He is also struggling with a much larger issue.

Dr. Abe knows there’s something bothering his lover, but he doesn’t know how to work through their difficulties when Peter won’t talk to him. Convinced it’s their bed play that has Peter out of sorts, Abe is determined to fix whatever’s wrong. What will happen when the doctor discovers there’s something bigger than their problems in the bedroom?


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Copyright ©2022 Emily Carrington

They were looking at a safe, secure website for BDSM and Peter felt his stomach clench a little more as he read through the “For Beginners” menu. It covered things like “Doms VS subs,” “Safe words,” and “The sub is Actually in Charge.”

In his experience, that last wasn’t true. Abe gave over all control when Peter played dominant.

It was the idea of being submissive that turned Peter on. But they’d accepted their roles, right? And it said here while a dominant could and should train as a sub first, a true submissive couldn’t be a permanent dom.

For Peter, that was certainly the case. Every time he had to pretend to be dominant, his heart pounded in his chest, and he feared he would hurt Abe accidentally.

And besides all that, he loved the idea of being tied up and spanked. Not by just anyone, either, but by his beautiful, perfect lover.

He’d wanted that once before, to be submissive in the bedroom. Maybe that was one reason his marriage to Megan had gone so badly four years ago. He’d wanted to be dominated in bed and she’d said, “I’m no one’s mistress. A mistress is someone you pay to do things like that.” He hadn’t brought it up again.

But now, could he have a second chance?

Abe touched Peter’s knee and Peter jumped, startled. He loved being touched but he’d been so wrapped up… He shook his head to clear it and met his beloved’s dark, nearly black, eyes. And as often happened when he’d been living in the past too much, he was freshly amazed and aroused by Abe’s delicately precise Japanese features. Abe, pronounced Ah-bay after the Japanese poet and playwright, Kobo Abe, was Japanese American. He had extensive family out west, a sister down south, and a niece at the school for the deaf where Peter taught. Abe was a veterinarian. He kept his hair short because, he said, he didn’t want to mess with it on a day when he’d have to go into surgery. He loved healing animals and that took precedence over what he called “wavy locks” as he tugged playfully on Peter’s shoulder-length brownish-blond hair.

Abe took his hand off Peter’s knee so he could use American Sign Language to communicate. “What are you thinking?”

Lying didn’t jive with the honest relationship they’d always had, but Peter didn’t want to admit his sub tendencies. So, he confessed another truth. “I hate it when I start thinking about Megan, even if it’s only for a moment,” he signed back.

Abe frowned. It was adorable. “What brought that on?”

“Can we talk about it later?”

Abe reached out and shut off the computer. “Yes,” he signed. “Let’s go upstairs.”

Peter wasn’t entirely sure he hid his feelings of tension as he nodded and stood.


Emily Carrington is a multipublished author of male/male and transgender erotica. Seeking a world made of equality, she created SearchLight to live out her dreams. But even SearchLight has its problems, and Emily is looking forward to working all of these out with a host of characters from dragons and genies to psychic vampires. Find her on Facebook at Shapeshifter Central or on her website.

Fantasy creatures not your thing? Emily has also created a contemporary romance world, called Sticks and Stones, where she explores being “different” in a small town. Visit her on Facebook at Emily Carrington’s Confessions!